One of my neighbors threw out a pink dollhouse and set it right in our alley. I will never forgive them. Not for the reasons you are probably thinking — that’s the last item I need. My home is at maximum Lego capacity. But this dollhouse is toddler catnip – large, bright, and semi-decrepit. It would make a child scream bloody murder if they couldn’t grab it out of the trash and have it.
The dollhouse was placed outside last Thursday and it’s hard to explain the stress it’s caused me. The idea of it coming into my home haunts me, and with it sitting outside my front door I felt like I was teetering on the razor’s edge. All weekend, I took alternative routes out of my garage to ensure my son didn’t see it. I would not even chance him catching it in his peripheral vision. It’s bright pink and he’s young. This kid can see. He can’t hear me screaming his name from the kitchen to the living room (we have an open floor plan so it’s the same room), but he can see a toy he wants from an airplane.
The weather was gorgeous over weekend, so I opened my living room windows. Overheard from the sidewalk were countless parents, shouting “go quick” or “distract them” when spotting the dollhouse. They were afraid of the same outcome and we’re all just one second away from giving in to our children. Millennial parents are cowards.
I have spent hours imagining how long it took the dollhouse parents to convince their child it was time to give it away. The negotiation it must’ve taken is unfathomable — I mean it has stairs and a fan. I was a child once. The things I would’ve done for a dollhouse with a fan! I would have sawed off all my Barbies’ arms for a fan.
I was relieved yesterday morning after I returned from dropoff, which took four additional minutes due to my dollhouse detour. Some kind soul had the good sense to turn it around lest it stop luring the children. This person is a true do-gooder and a hero in my book. Just as I was pressing publish on this piece my son saw the picture of the dollhouse, and said eyes wide, “what’s that?”
The Dollhouse
The fan
Crisis Averted
someone turned it around!!! Every parent was truly facing the same battle!!
Millennial parents are cowards 😂