The “So You Forgot a Gift” Gift Guide

Have no fear. I am here.

This is not a normal gift guide. This is for the person who’s all dressed up for the holiday party when they suddenly realize they never bought a gift for the host. It’s for the delinquent cousin who always forgets to bring something to the Hanukkah gift exchange and says, “I thought we weren’t doing gifts this year,” even though they absolutely knew you were. It’s for the person grabbing lunch with their most thoughtful friend on December 20th, knowing that friend will definitely have a little something for them—and it’s 11:20 a.m., lunch is in ten minutes, and panic is setting in.

Don’t worry. I’ve lived this moment more times than I can count.

For the wine snob: Grab the dustiest bottle of wine from your shelf. Do not wipe it off. The dust is part of the charm. Call it “vintage,” wrap it in a grocery bag, and tie it with a piece of kid-art string you find on the floor.

For your well-read friend: A book you’ve already read works beautifully. Add a handwritten note (“Loved this!”). That’s it. People lose their minds over handwriting. (In the times of AI, you don’t see handwriting anymore.)

For the pal with a green thumb: Plant clippings. Perfect. Tell a dramatic story about how long you’ve had this ficus and how it almost died and then grew back, and now here are its leaves for your friend to propagate and continue its tale of resilience. Or give the whole plant away. You will think about it for roughly nine seconds and then never again.

For the gal who introduced you to microneedling: An unused beauty product you swore you’d incorporate into your routine but didn’t. Ideal. You’re killing two birds with one stone: decluttering your bathroom cabinet and giving the serum a new home. (And yes, I also found out last week that products can expire. Rude.)

For the homebody: A candle you haven’t lit is great. A candle you lit once is also fine—just trim off the burnt wick and pretend you were “testing the throw.” That’s a thing candle people say, apparently.

For anyone: Combine walnuts, Chex, and craisins in a mason jar. Sprinkle with cinnamon, salt, and chili pepper. Call it a family recipe or call it a holiday snack mix. The key is confidence. If they ask which side of the family, simply… don’t answer.

There. You’re festive. You’re thoughtful. You’re the patron saint of last-minute gifting.

Drop a heart if you laughed. <3