Scams I'm Done Falling For

I refuse to let these get me any longer.

• Rhubarb — to eat it, you have to wash, peel, trim, and douse it in sugar. Just let it be what it is: a poisonous weed.

• Thinking I can get away with just my raincoat during a storm. An umbrella is always required.

• Calling that viral “carrot salad” a meal.

• The American Dream.

• Wearing any kind of slide-on shoe. They always fall off.

• Tasting menus… tiny portions for too much money.

• Believing those texts claiming I have an outstanding toll to pay for my car are real.

  

• Buying fancy clothes for my children when all they do is use their shirts as rags.

• Paying for airplane Wi-Fi. You're giving your dollars away to be frustrated.

• Thinking buying things will bring me happiness.

• Listening to the Apple Weather app.

• Dry cleaning. What are they doing? My clothes come back just the same, but in plastic wrap.

• Design aesthetics that look like this.

This isn’t minimalism, it’s just uncomfortable. If you laughed, drop a <3.