Check the Pockets

Some time tested advice.

These days, whenever someone asks for parenting advice, the trend is to act bashful and pretend you don’t have any. Or you offer something so bland it dissolves on contact, like “Just do your best” or “Enjoy the moments—they don’t last forever.” Sure, that’s all fine. But if you’re reporting live from the trenches, the least you can do is offer something actually useful. Something a new parent can act on.

So here it is:

Check the pockets.

The moment your kids are old enough to stash tiny treasures, you need to start checking their pockets before doing laundry. Pretend you are a TSA dog searching for forbidden items. Because if you don’t, you might end up with a dryer full of melted crayons—like I did yesterday. I’m now wearing socks with unintentional racing stripes.

I knew something was wrong the second I started folding clothes. First, I saw a streak of red across my socks. Then a bit of green on a towel. And then an alarming amount of blue on my T-shirt. Eventually, I found the remains of three crayons, now fully integrated into our wardrobe.

Five years into parenting, I should absolutely know better. I’ve already lived through the disasters of washing diapers and pull-ups. I’ve learned that whatever’s in the laundry bin is never only laundry. I’ve witnessed the havoc a kangaroo pocket full of beads can unleash. And once, after a vacation, I tossed the contents of my son’s suitcase straight into the dryer—unaware that nearly a hundred seashells were hiding in his clothes like fragile landmines.

So if I can offer one piece of real, practical advice: check the pockets. Save yourself the chaos. Save your appliances. Save yourself.

And if you have any tried-and-true methods for getting crayon out of clothes, please let me know.

My new socks. Drop a heart if you enjoyed.